The hours that followed
Yesterday was a long day, there wasn’t a minute from 10am till when I fell asleep that could be wasted. Constantly being woken up by nurses that kept on checking up on me, the heart monitors going off due to movement during my sleep and my body was completely numb. I had needles coming out of every position possible and I couldn’t even hold my phone and text properly. I couldn’t turn my head as it was numb due to the lines coming out of my neck. Food wasn’t the main priority at the time, I was still on an IV fluid to keep myself hydrated and energised, but I hadn’t eaten in 2 days.
The one thing that kept me awake all night was the fact that the doctors kept saying “it may be hours or days before your heart stops working”, I constantly kept staring at the ECG monitor to check that everything was fine and that my heart wasn’t beating abnormally. Being only 16 years old, what scared me the most was that I have so many dreams that I want to accomplish as I become older and to sit there and question if it will be possible wasn’t satisfying at all. Heart Failure isnt something that im educated about, I may have heard about it on TV shows and maybe read about it once or twice but I really didn’t know what to expect and that scared me. I always thought that problems like these could be cured through medication and because of that I kept hoping that I’d be able to take the lines off and hopefully go home within a couple of days or weeks…
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