So today didn’t go as planned. Im not disappointed but I’m just shocked. My doctor came to see me and she was extremely straight forward. She read through my medical reports and then came to speak to me. She was alongside the team of doctors from D4.
“Kj, I’ve heard a lot about you and I’ve heard you’re quite a strong chap. Im really sorry to tell you that there is no way you’re leaving this hospital anytime soon… If I let you walk out of here, there is an extremely high chance that you won’t be with us much longer and I don’t think thats what your parents want. If I have to be extremely serious your heart is weaker than a 90 year old man who has survived 2 heart attacks. To be honest, you’re really on the edge of life and you’re at end stage heart failure. If I put 6 of you in a room and come back in 5 months, theres a very high chance that only 1 will be left at the time and I’m not willing to take a risk and bet that the 1 person will be you. I have 3 options for you, take your time and decide wisely” -
Wait for a heart-transplant, stay on Inotropes till a perfect match comes along. Just remember that time is our enemy and hearts don’t fall out of the sky…
Try and wing this through with just medication
Get an LVAD and then wait for a heart transplant
Many of you may ask, what is an LVAD?
An LVAD is a Left Ventricular Assist Device, it is basically a mechanical heart and helps the blood flow in your body. The machine is inside your body but there is an external wire with 2 batteries that have to be connected to it at all times. Your life is dependent on the machine and without it you won’t stay alive very long.
After a long discussion with my parents and going through an emotional rollercoaster, we decided that option number 3 was our best option. Yes I may have some concerns about how life is going to be different and difficult with a mechanical heart but hey, im still going to be alive.
This honestly isn’t something I ever thought I would have to deal with and being 17 it just makes me think what the people around me are going to act like. Am I going to be known as “the guy with the mechanical heart” or will people treat me like im as normal as them.. Can I still go out till late?, will I be able to do all the things my friends do? Another thing that I have to keep in mind is that an LVAD isn’t waterproof so that basically cuts me out of all water-sports and activities like swimming and just relaxing at the beach. I also won’t be able to play a lot of sports and won’t be able to do a number of things my friends can.
I believe I’m going to have to look at this experience with a different manner, focus on the positive not the negative = focus on the things I can do instead of focusing on the things that I cant do
To read the next part of my story, click the link below -